time warp

All of the kids these days are texting.

But there's something more romantic about a pen and paper.



Take me back to what we consider to be old fashioned.

To a time when men were still men and not just boys wearing their grandfather's tie.

Back when "gentlemen" were really gentle - men,

And boys were taught to carry a handkerchief, because ladies cry.



Take me back to a time when men wore robes and sat on the porch reading the paper,

When kids said yes sir instead of screw you,

And parents were constantly in love.

Back when ladies wore flowy dresses because they were beautiful and not because it was a special occasion,

and men wore suspenders because they were practical.

Back when a man would give a lady his arm and guide her safely through the night,

and carry an umbrella over her head instead of his.



Back when top hats were the norm, and men weren't afraid to tip it in your direction and tell you how they feel about you.


Give me a man of my very own that opens doors, and gives me his jacket, and wears a top hat,and uses an old type writer, and possibly even sings me songs from the old black and white musicals.

Give me one that carries a handkerchief because i cry, and writes me old fashioned letters, and tells me how he feels, and dances in the rain with me.




I want an old fashioned kind of love.

Simplicity

I want my life to reek of Shakespeare

Thank God I'm not a robot

If I were a robot I wouldn't say mountain without saying the T.

People wouldn't tell me that I give good hugs.

And I would remember where all these scars came from...
I wouldn't have any scars.

If I were a robot i wouldn't keep praying for rain and leaves to fall
because colder weather would mean more malfunctions
and God knows I already have too many of those.

I wouldn't love black and white movies,

And I wouldn't love love.

If I were a robot I wouldn't make up stupid jokes that aren't funny to anyone else but me.

Or put extra butter in my popcorn.
Put popcorn in my butter.

I wouldn't be somewhat afraid of spiders

And I would never have peed my pants so much as a kid.

If I were a robot I wouldn't cry too much at funerals

I wouldn't have fallen in love with hardware stores.

And I definitely wouldn't have fallen in love with a tree.

i'm

scared

out

of

my

mind

"Give me a hand to hold,
and fingers that want to
wrap back around mine;
give me a heart that beats
and races, or slows, to
match the thumping drum
of mine. Arms that hold
as well as fold tightly
to be held. The push and
the pull, the give and the
fearless take. Love
is range, the grey
that lives in between the black
and the white."

-Tyler Knott Gregson-

A eulogy for my giving tree:

I spent my childhood with the willow tree in my front yard.

She was breathtaking.

And every day that we spent together was a new adventure.

She taught me how to dance through the storms and roaring winds that came my way.

I think I love the rain because of her.

Everyone else wanted to be a rock star when they grew up, or a movie star, or an astronaut.

But I just wanted to grow up to be like her. 

I wanted to be like her because she was so beautiful. And it wasn't a fake beauty that you see plastered all over magazines and commercials. 

It was a real beauty.

I wanted to be like her because she was so strong. And it wasn't a strength that you get from weights and protein shakes.

It was a real strength.

I drew my strength from her the day I went to the kite festival. And that day was the hardest day my little soul had ever had.

In my little world of too much change, there she stood:

 Constant. 

We moved away that August and left my best friend behind. 

I still came down once a month for visitation. 

But one day I found nothing but a stump. 

Still beautiful. Still strong...

Dear Willow,

I miss you.

things that actually matter

I wish my search history on Amazon consisted of things that actually matter.

Like record players.

And Candles.

And a ukulele.

And a pet fish.

And those strawberry candies that no one ever buys but they always show up somehow.

And albums of artists that I can't listen to on Spotify.

And books about how to be a better person.

And the first leaves that fall at the end of summer.

And polaroids of memories that no one actually took pictures of.

And a love story of my very own that makes me feel the same way Ocean Stone by Chris O'Brien does.

And a time machine... So I can go back and fix it.

Mad Hatter

The day I was born, society handed me a hat.
I carried it around in my back pocket until I was unsure of who I was.
Then one day I put it on.
I wore their hat for years, conforming to the idea that I had to be anything but real.

It slowly started coming apart at the seams.
Stitch by stitch.
I panicked.
I had grown attached to their dull, gray hat.
But this was my chance to make it my own.

I took a yellow spool of thread and a needle to it.
I sewed a silhouette of a willow tree onto it.
I sewed my name on it too.
And slowly over time it has become less of their's,
and more of mine.

Some day I'll have full custody.

I'm smiling

Sometimes it's a lot easier to find words to describe your sadness than your happiness. 

This is one of those times.

All I want is to be able to express why and how I am and have been so happy the last two days.

Maybe it's because yesterday's weather was perfect.

... But so was today's.

I can feel Autumn coming and I couldn't be more happy.

Maybe it's because I woke up with a smile on my face.

Maybe it's because I went to bed with a smile on my face.

Maybe it's because I ate kettle corn with that smile.

Maybe it's because I jammed out in the car with that smile.

Technically that smile just sat and watched while I jammed out.

Maybe it's because I played pool with that smile. 

Technically that smile played pool while I played a game of scratch.

Maybe it's because I bowled with that smile.

Even though bowling isn't anything to brag about.

The worst part of the last two days was watching a movie while that smile 

was on the other side of the room.