I am still me

No matter how much time I have had to plan this out

There's still only 24 hours in a day, and no matter how many clocks I have in my house

I'll never have had enough time.

I wrote most of this in a gold pen and all I could think was: 

"stay gold pony boy."

Paris was never a city here in Utah, and I was never good at being a tourist.

I was never good at saying my own name because I'm still not used to my own voice.

But hi I'm Madi Larsen

I've never been good at sitting still for too long.

I was never good at living in my own century without dreaming of another.

This galaxy is way too big for any of us to know everyone

But I am not a stranger in my own galaxy.

We all come from different latitudes and longitudes

But today we are all French

The only song I can play on the guitar

"Well the first time that I saw her,
Standing in the middle of the road,
Eyes as bright as christmas lights,
Wearing someone else’s clothes,
I did my best to ignore her,
But ignoring my best pretty soon,
We spent the night all tangled tight,
In an armchair in my friends front room,

I said darling you know,
Darling you know I can’t stay,
Cos I've given my heart and my word to a girl far away,
I felt week as she kissed my cheek,
And sighed when I heard her say,
Never knew I could get my heart broken in less than a day,

Oh and the next time that I saw her,
Must have been a year or more,
Face stained with mascara,
Shivering outside my door,
I did my best to assure her,
But assurance isn’t easy to give,
If you’ve never been sure of anything much,
And get less so the longer you live

She said darling you know,
Darling you know I can’t stay,
Cos I've given my heart and my word to a boy far away,
I spoke soft and pretended to cough,
Like I didn’t care either way,
Never knew I could get my heart broken in so many ways,

And the last time I saw her,
Standing in the pouring rain,
Hair a little shorter,
But everything else looked the same,
I could’ve told her that I adored her,
She could’ve said she felt the same way,
But we just smiled cos sometimes words,
Aren’t the right words to say,
We just smiled cos sometimes words,
Aren’t the right words to say."

Words 

By: Passenger

Dear Dory,

I'm rooting for you.

And not just because if you go down, you'll take me with you, but because you need it.

You're too adventurous for your own good,

but you're too lazy to do anything about it.

I've been sitting around for too long, bored from talking to these dust bunnies.

Let me out if this cage.

I have this itch to play the piano, and a longing to jump out of a plane head first.

I want to hike Mount Everest, and walk the length of the Great Wall of China, and sail from the tip of South America to the the shores of Australia, and even backpack across Europe.

I've been at the end of your leash for too long, and you've been at the end of a leash that's being held by your brain.

Let's try something.

Just for a day, let me switch spots with your brain.

I want you at the end of my leash and your brain at the end of yours.

Let me boss you around, just for a day.

And maybe, if you like it, I can be promoted permanently. I know it's a hard job, but I think I can do it. I've never been given the chance, but I think I'll surprise you.

I've had more influence on you than you think.

I'm the one putting songs in your head,

I'm the one who tells you it's okay to smile,

I'm the one who tells you it's okay to give me away, even though you'd be giving me away...

I'm the one who tells you it's okay to fall in love...

To love with all of me...

To love with all of you...

And I know I've steered you wrong with love in the past, but I've been observing you for awhile now and I can just tell

I think this one is gonna be different

Just remember I'm the one who told you it's okay to love love.

I'm the one who told you it's okay to be happy, even after all the stuff you've been through.

I'm the one who told you to experience life.

I'm the one who knows what you should do with your life, but you won't listen.

Your ears are full of water and your eyes are glued to the dictionary and your mouth is too tongue tied to speak out against your brain and your fingers are inter-twined with the strands in your hair and your feet are facing different directions and your elbows are pointing up and down at the same time and your knees are caved in and your back looks broken because you are slumped over in a tangled mess of hinges and puppet strings, dancing around to the beating of your...

brain

because I'm not the one holding the controls...

But when you're ready to dance to the beating of your heart, let me know.

I'll be waiting.

And if you're not sure who to look for, remember:

I'm the one holding the scissors.

Sincerely, your Heart

Her windows are beautiful

I have this paintbrush sitting in a box in my attic.
It's stained with tears, and blood,
and dipped in a coat of wood finish
and kissed with a dark shade of love.
All the bristles are falling out and it's dull from all the oils on my hands.
I've used it to paint her face,
and his face,
and her face again,
and their faces together,

but I can't seem to get their eyes right.

They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul,
but I'd never be able to do either one justice.

I've fallen in love with eyes,
I've fallen in love with souls,

and I've fallen in love with open windows.

How to find yourself

I've been playing marco polo with myself for years now.
I still haven't caught me yet and I probably won't for another lifetime or two.
But right now I feel closer than ever before.

My mom has this saying: "By experiencing who you're not, you discover who you are."


How to find yourself:


Close your eyes